Coffee Franchise Guide

Coffee Franchise Guide  According to the LA Times, Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz is testing a new self-serve initiative wherein consumers can make their own coffee. 

This idea prompted biting responses from several websites. 

On a post at FranchisePick.Com (Starbucks Tests Pour-Ur-Own Dang Coffee. Ponzi’s Coffee Goes One Better.) quips: 

"After all, how can one be profitable selling 13 cents worth of scorched coffee for only $4.00?  AND give free cups?

The problem?  You lazy consumers who just stand there and watch, making the poor baristas do all the work…"

Over at FRANWORST.COM,  fictional millionaire Richard Quick, Esq. announced today that extensive prototype testing has been successfully completed, and the innovative Ponzi’s Coffee Total Service concept is ready for franchising.

Said Quick, the new Ponzi’s Coffee program takes customer neglect to a new level.

"Ponzi’s Coffee Total Service kiosks not only pour a variety of premium coffee for discriminating customers, they also drink it, digest it, and urinate the fully processed beverage in less than a minute. In fact, all the customer has to do is insert their money through the slot in the door. And leave."

[Photo, right:  Ponzi's Coffee Total Service franchise prototype.  Photo credit: doctorhandshake]

For more information on the Ponzi’s Coffee franchise as well as other fictional franchise opportunities, including STARBUSKJ Cofe ‘N’ ROP (the favorite franchise of late EXILED ex-president Baduchka and the only Slovenian coffee and rope shop to give free monkeyfist with every order), read Ponzi’s Coffee Burns Starbuck’s, Introduces Total Service Franchise at Franworst.com.

Top Photo credit:  ASurroca  License: creative commons

Peeing Boy photo credit: doctorhandshake License: creative commons

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